Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Whole30, Day 1: No Big Deal/What Have I Done

Today, I started Whole30. Why, you ask? Because my mom did it. And because the Whole30 book has pretty pictures of food. And because I don't know how to make anything more elaborate than pasta and that seems like a crime.

So today, at 6:15 am, I got up and began making a frittata. And now I am full of regret.

Breakfast: Spinach Frittata

Last night, as my husband and I headed to bed, I was filled with excitement to start this program. Kenny is doing the program with me too, and I was determined not to let his first Whole30 meal be a sad tupperware container full of hard-boiled eggs. I wanted to send him off with something delicious and energizing. Nevermind that I don't like spinach. Or tomatoes. Whole30 kept talking about how delicious the Day 1 frittata was, so I was going to make this frittata, damnit.

But as I stood blurry-eyed, rough chopping spinach as the sun rose, I no longer cared about giving Kenny delicious food. I was ready to send him off with a crate of hardboiled eggs to last him to the month. But I couldn't do that. Because I was making frittata.

Things started well. I had set my alarm for 6:15, a full 30 minutes before my normal alarm and a good hour before Kenny had to leave for the bus. The recipe claims that the frittata will only take 20-25 minutes to make, but I know how long it takes me to chop things, so I doubled the overall cook time. After getting out a variety of knives and cutting boards, I happily set about dicing onions and tomatoes.

Then I reread the instructions. And disaster ensued.

Issue #1: I don't own an oven-safe skillet, so I can't actually cook the frittata the way I'm supposed to cook a frittata. But that's okay! Whole30 provided a workaround, wherein I would cook the vegetables in the skillet, transfer them into a bowl with the eggs, and dump everything in a pie pan to cook in the oven. Everything is going to be okay.

Issue #2: The instructions say to use one 9 oz bag of spinach. Well, my bags of spinach are each 6 oz. So I used a bag and a half. And I had so. much. spinach.

Issue #3: In my in my ghee-and-spinach induced excitement, I added the spinach to the skillet before the tomato and onion. When I realized my mistake, I panicked and added the tomato and onion to the already wilted spinach. Which means that in order to fully cook the tomato and spinach, I had to overcook the spinach. And I didn't want to overcook the spinach, so I took the whole thing off heat. But, because it took me a while to work through all my panic and indecision, the spinach was slightly overcooked and the tomato and onion were severely undercooked.

Issue #4: The not-owning-an-oven-safe-skillet workaround added 30 minutes to the cook time. The frittata went in at 7:00 for 30 minutes. Kenny left at 7:12 with three hard boiled eggs.

On the brightside, the frittata (while not particularly photogenic) was pretty good, especially considering it was full of spinach and tomato, which you will recall I do not like.

Now it's 9:26 am and I am eating a banana. Because I am hungry.

10:22 am

I want bread. I will not eat bread.

Lunch: Spinach Salad with Avocado, Ranch Dressing, Cherries

I think maybe I didn't eat enough for breakfast. Because by the time lunch rolled around, I was so hangry, I could barely see straight. And as I wallowed in my hangriness, reviewing the recipe for ranch dressing, I began to regret all of the shortcuts Kenny and I had taken so far. See, rather than making our own mayonnaise or clarifying our own butter, we bought fancy paleo mayo and ghee. At the time, that seemed like a great investment. But as I held the fancy mayo jar and smelled the overwhelming amount of vinegar in this store-bought stuff, I realized what a tremendous error we made in not making our own. Lesson learned. 

At any rate, I used the sketchy mayo to make delicious ranch dressing for my salad. The most difficult task in the entire thing was retrieving the coconut cream from its can (another lesson I learned the hard way - just buy the milk and make your own cream, as directed). 

And here is the ranch dressing, in all of its non-photogenic glory:

3:12 pm
I have now opened the pantry and stared longingly at the peanut butter three times. 

Dinner: Spaghetti Squash with a Meaty Red Sauce
There is no need for sassinesss, frustration, or displeasure here. This recipe was easy and delicious. So delicious, Kenny and I weren't able to take pictures of it. So, enjoy pictures of someone else's squash and red sauce. Thank you, Whole30, for guiding me to this deliciousness.

Photo Credit:

After Dinner Prep:
Whole30 recommends setting aside time after dinner to prep the next day's meals. We're making slow-cooker brisket tomorrow, so there's little to do ahead of time - just dicing the squash. No problem! I can dice squash!

We have now been dicing for 40 minutes. The end is near. This darn squash is so labor-intensive that, to quote Kenny, "it better be freaking delicious."

See you tomorrow.


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