Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Whole30, Days 16-21: Just Give Me Donuts

Catch up on all the Whole30 posts by clicking here. 

I've been putting off this post. Not because Kenny and I quit (somehow, ridiculously, we are still doing this), and not because I have gotten sick of the blog.

No. I am just sick to death of food.

I mean, we have had a few yummy things. For example, Kenny and I found some grass-fed beef sausages (not hotdogs) that were pretty awesome. Expensive. But awesome. We put them in lettuce leaves and wrapped them up so that it felt like we were eating the sausages on buns. It sounds really sad and pathetic (and this picture of the unwrapped sausage especially does), but it wasn't, I swear. We weren't, like, imagining the lettuce as bread. It was just a tool so that we could hold the delicious meat and cram it into our mouths faster.

Kenny also made some breakfast sausages which look like lame blobs of meat in this photo, but which were actually quite tasty, especially when combined with avocado.

But other than that, we've been eating a lot of repeat meals: potatoes, pan-seared porkchops, pan-seared chicken, pan-seared porkchops, chicken salad, pan-seared porkchops, EGGS. Ugh. Every time I eat eggs I remember how much they need cheese. The green onion is a poor substitute.

I'll be honest with you - I didn't eat that peach. I just needed something colorful to fill the empty space on my plate so that my photo would look slightly more attractive. And unfortunately, I'm not allowed to eat bacon. So a peach was the next-best thing. 

Also I tried to make sweet potato fries (which I thought were off-limits - we aren't supposed to eat fries or chips of any kind. BUT I found this recipe on the official Whole30 instagram, so I took that as official Whole30 approval to make fries anyway), but they turned out kind of disgusting. Which is maybe why Whole30 approved them.

Don't let their fry-like appearance fool you. These were not delicious. 

So anyway, I just haven't really been excited to share our meals, because our meals have been kind of lame. You can only blog about porkchops so many times before it gets old.

Plus, lately, my mental energy has been far more consumed with craving food I can't eat than with the food I am actually eating.

My Brain is Sugar

See, my cravings have taken over my brain. I am no longer in control. Last week, while at the grocery store getting potatoes, I found myself surrounded by parents and young children. As I walked down the main store thoroughfare, one particularly adorable child caught my eye: a pale-skinned, blonde-haired, blue-eyed, two-year-old child with a ring of pink frosting around his mouth. He could have been a Gerber baby. And he was holding the holy grail of store bought cookies:

I'm not sure what these cookies are actually called, but my family has always called them disk cookies because they have a round disk of perfectly shaped icing on top. Kenny calls them crack cookies. For what I assume are obvious reasons.

Anyway, the innocent two year old was holding one of these perfect creations, happily munching away. 

And, when I saw him, I stopped dead in my tracks. I am talking full stop, no longer walking, staring at this cookie in the child's hands, dead in my tracks. I am not embellishing. I am not being hyperbolic. I literally stood in the middle of the grocery store and watched this child eat this cookie. My sense of self-awareness was gone. I just wanted a cookie so badly. 

I managed to snap out of it before the child's parent noticed me creepily staring at their son, but this episode started a string of similar incidents. I have stared at people eating cake, ice cream cones, donuts, and pizza. 

I have also been hit  by overwhelming cravings for things I can't eat. For example, Kenny and I went to a friend's outdoor party on Friday. As we sat out on the back steps, we were struck by what a perfect summer evening it was: a beautiful sunset, warm but with a slight breeze, all the plants were green and lush. A perfect evening, you might say, for a walk up to the local ice cream establishment. A Dairy Queen for example. And at this establishment, one might get a Dairy Queen Blizzard with Snickers. So, instead of enjoying the party, Kenny and I sat on the back steps and debated the pros and cons of quitting and driving to Dairy Queen immediately. 

Kenny told me if we were going to quit we needed to sleep on it first. I told him that I only wanted to quit because I wanted a Blizzard RIGHT NOW, so if I had to sleep on it, I didn't want to quit. I'm all about instant gratification, baby. (Okay, not really. But like, sort of? If you're familiar with the marshmallow experiment, I would have been the kid who ate tiny little pieces out of the marshmallow, but like, inconspicuous parts of the marshmallow that the adults probably wouldn't have noticed so that I could still get my second marshmallow.)ANYWAY. We conquered our desire to get DQ Blizzards on Friday night. We went back home with dairy-free stomachs. 

And then we ended up at Kenny's parents on Sunday night where there was a big, giant, delicious-looking, fudgy, chocolaty cake. 

This is not that cake, but it looks like that cake. 

Kenny and I were overwhelmed with our desire for chocolate, so we had to go into a separate room and talk ourselves down. Kenny's mom told us that the cake made her feel sick, which probably wasn't true, but I chose to believe her for the sake of stamping out my craving. 

On Monday, the worst day of all, I was watching TV, and suddenly food was everywhere. ALL THE PEOPLE WERE EATING ALL THE THINGS. There were donuts! And cake! And yogurt! And cookies! And muffins! And cheese! And pancakes! And just...all the things. 

To pull ourselves together, Kenny and I have made a Freedom List aka A List of Things We Can Eat When This Blasted Program is Over. Here it is in its current state:

Please, feel free to share your own suggestions. Only the promise of apple pie is keeping me going right now. 

Today is Day 22, so Kenny and I are heading into the final week. I promise to do my best to return to the standard format in my next post - and I'll do my best to make yummy foods so that you don't have to stare at 10 pictures of porkchops. 

Until next time!

1 comment:

  1. Did you ever try fried carrots? My kids love it!


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