Sunday, June 5, 2016

Whole30, Days 4 & 5: Kill All the Things

Catch up on all the Whole30 posts by clicking here. 

According to the Whole30 book, days 4 and 5 were supposed to fill me with a grumpiness so strong, I would want to kill all the things. But, alas, I couldn't kill all the things because I was too busy sleeping on all the things. And craving all the things. (Dear God, please send me a Five Guys Little Bacon Cheeseburger with ketchup, mustard, mayo, and raw onions. Please.) [Pro Tip: Don't google image search for pictures of Five Guys Little Bacon Cheeseburger to spruce up your blog post. It will only make those cravings worse.]

For the past two days, I have just been so. tired. On Saturday, I slept until 10 am (a full 11 hours of sleep), took a 90 minute nap in the afternoon, and still went to bed at a normal bed time. Sure, I was a little grumpy, but my grumpiness only stemmed from not being in bed sleeping. How dare you ask me to make food when the comfy bed is less than ten feet away?

So anyway, tired, not murdery. I may have wanted to gently grumble at all the things, but I certainly didn't feel driven to homocide.

In spite of my grumpiness, I made food because a girl has to eat. Here is the account of that food.


Breakfast: Potato Hash with Bell Peppers, Onions, and Kielbasa
After rolling out of bed at the early hour of 10:30 am, Kenny and I set about making a breakfast potato hash with bell peppers, onions, and kielbasa. Well, not kielbasa actually. It turns out that all kielbasa (at least all the kielbasa at our grocery store) is made with sugar and/or corn syrup. Darn you, kielbasa-making factories. Instead, we bought organic grass-fed beef hot dog...things, which proved to be a suitable substitute for our beloved kielbasa. I find it ridiculous that I can eat hot dogs (even organic, grass-fed hot dogs) on Whole30 but not kielbasa. Whatever.

See: hot dogs.

At any rate, this is a recipe that Kenny and I love even when we're not on Whole30, so we unsurprisingly enjoyed it quite a bit.

Lunch: Leftovers
Due to the volume of tupperware filling our refrigerator, we opted to eat leftovers for lunch. Although, we ate at 2 pm, so I'm not sure you could call it lunch. And I'm not sure I should say "we" ate. Kenny ate. I had a banana and then slept for an hour and a half. Have I mentioned that I was tired?

4:32 pm
I awoke craving corn chips. Specifically, Chipotle corn chips with a satisfying crunch, a bunch of salt and a hint of lime.

Dinner: Seared Chicken with Guacamole and Carrot Sticks
Due to my overwhelming craving for Chipotle chips, we opted to make guacamole for dinner. Unfortunately, guacamole by itself does not consitute a meal (ridiculous, I know). So instead we brainstormed various vehicles for guacamole and landed on chicken and carrots.

We seared the chicken in a bath of ghee for 3 minutes, then baked it in the oven for 10 minutes. Or rather, we would have baked them for ten minutes, but we apparently bought the ginormous monster chicken breasts from Trader Joe's, so we had to cook ours for 20 minutes. Our chicken must have been doing Crossfit or something. My word it was big.

By the way, when I say we made guacamole, I don't mean we used some weird Whole30 guacamole recipe. We made real, full-blown Chipotle guacamole. Using the Chipotle guacamole recipe. At it tasted like Chipotle guacamole. It was good. So. Good.

Guacamole, pre-mixing

Anyway, chicken, guacamole, carrots. That's what we had for dinner. The plate looks a little underwhelming as far as food volume goes. Rest assured, I ate a lot more guacamole and chicken before the meal was over. And then more guacamole later. And I dreamed about guacamole over night.

Also, if you're finding yourself saying, But Ellen, that chicken breast looks like a normal sized breast.. It isn't doing Crossfit, then you should know that this is half of one chicken breast. HALF.

[Side note: If you're intrigued by the food we've been making, check out the Pinterest board where I've pinned many of the recipes.]


Once again, I slept until 10:30 am. If Kenny hadn't been poking me, begging me to get up and eat a meal, I probably would have slept for another hour or two. Somehow, Kenny has remained full of energy throughout this particular stage. Yesterday, he wasn't even grumpy or murdery. He wanted to kill none of the things.

Breakfast: Guacamole
I was too tired to eat food, so I merely kept Kenny company. (Or maybe I took a shower? I legitimately don't remember what happened this morning. I must have still been asleep.) Kenny, however, had various leftovers, including the rest of the guacamole.

Lunch: Tuna Boats and Roasted Butternut Squash
For lunch, we basically had guacamole with tuna.

Tuna Boat Filling, pre-mixing

Following a recipe in the Whole30 book, we mashed up avocado with tuna, cilantro, lime juice, salt, pepper, chili powder, green onion, and jalapeno. (Can I just say that I had no idea that I liked jalapeno before doing Whole30? Or tuna?) Then we put it in endive leaves to make little boats. It was both adorable and delicious, if not particularly photogenic.

Also, the roasted butternut squash was quite yummy.

3:52 pm:
In addition to craving chips, I began craving Dove ice cream bars. And Dairy Queen blizzards. And sundaes from Culver's.

Needless to say, I was very hungry and it was too early for dinner, so Kenny and I both ate an Apple Pie Larabar. Despite being called an Apple Pie bar, the Larabar, tragically, had no pie in it.  Instead, it was full of dates, almonds, apples, walnuts, raisins, and cinnamon. While certainly not equivalent to a Turtle Pecan Cluster Blizzard®Treat from DQ, it at least took the edge off my hunger for 45 minutes.

Dinner: Potatoes.
By the time dinner rolled around today, I was so delirious with dreams of corn tortilla chips and Kenny was too far gone in his own version of Kill All the Things (which basically just consisted of some mild grumpiness and slightly less smiling) that we were uninterested in cooking. Also, our enthusiasm for cooking is waning. (Which is not good. We're only 1/6 of the way through this thing.) So, instead of the salmon we had planned for dinner, we had baked potatoes.

While not especially original or exciting, they were delicious and they involved only 5 minutes of prep, so it was a win in my book.

Looking Forward

Remember those sweet potatoes with eggs I mentioned at the end of the previous post? My exhaustion this weekend prevented me from making them. However, I'm going to get up tomorrow bright and early to make them before Kenny leaves for work. Let's hope this is the start of a glorious new sunrise breakfast trend and not a repeat of the Frittata Disaster of June 1, 2016. Pray for us.

Also, tomorrow begins the fourth stage - the one the Whole30 authors titled, "I just want a nap." If there is a stage that somehow involves even more exhaustion than this one, heaven help us. I might just sleep through it entirely.

1 comment:

  1. Just a normal life episode! Been there, wish you luck. Thank you for yummy recipe.


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